Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Chatting online

So, I'm on this website and this guy sends me a message. He's in the target age range, so I respond. His second message consists of inviting me to talk to him on another website. Excuse me? You found me here, what's wrong with talking here? What is with this desire to switch mediums? Changing from a page load site (Nexopia, Facebook etc.) to a live chat (MSN, Yahoo) makes sense if you actually have something to say. But, when your second or third message is "Do you use MSN?" and you really don't know the person, and have nothing in common, whats the point? I'm going to add you, we'll talk for 20 minutes, and then I'll probably get distracted, conversation with falter, and I'll never talk to you again. Then I have this huge folder called Boys full people people who I have talked to once, and can not remember who they are, where I met them, or why I should care.

I had this issue twice tonight, neither conversation lasted more than 20 messages total. So, why should I add him to msn if he can't keep me entertained/be entertained by me for more than  a couple minutes?

Monday, November 26, 2007


So, there you are, standing at the front of the class. Your throat hurts because you've had a cold for the past week. You don't trust one of your group members to talk slowly enough for your presentation to hit the minimum 20 mins. Luckily you trust your technical abilities for the video to work properly. You introduce your group, and hand the speaking off to the first person and hope for the best. Neither of your group members prepared very well, and this is worth 25% of your mark. You are so screwed.

Alright, so the presentation worked out. Next is the paper for that class. And the mini assignments, and the final exam, and the presentation for the other class, and the final, and the paper for that other class. Then it's over. Forever. And concentration can shift. From the present, to the future. To the move, and the new life.

Ah, the move. Can't wait. Change. A new start. Now I just need a place to live and a car. Then I'll be set. Move date is mid-January. Moving out of my place as soon as it sells or rents.

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Alright, I got all the interesting stuff out of the way, now for the boring life plan stuff.

I move to Calgary as soon as possible. I'm going to try and move over the new year, but there are too many variables right now. I have a job there, Office Manager for the Calgary branch of my current department. I will be assisting two guys with paper work, and one of them is retiring soon. I will have to brainwash myself into liking it.

The well thought out Saskatchewan plans fell through for a couple reasons. First, I did not get the land that I wanted. Someone apparently outbid me, and that was that. Also, I visited my family in Calgary and realized that I wanted to be closer to them instead. So, to Calgary I go.

I'm selling my previously discussed motorbikes. They are currently in my parents basement, but in the spring, I will hopefully have people happy to haul them away for me. I am, of course, replacing the bikes with a better one. It's going to be custom painted for me, and should be nice and fast.

While school is almost done, there is a lot that I still have to do before I can graduate. Most of this is being pushed back, as per usual. This time, instead of cleaning my house (that's being procrastinated on too), I'm reading a blog. It's highly entertaining. Some of the writings come across as being fact, but it is all her rantings and ravings. After surfing randomly for a while, I decided to start at the beginning and read her life story. I am currently just starting February 2007.


18 months ago a mom, dad and younger brother were killed. The sister and her boyfriend were arrested for their murders the next day. She was 12, he was 23. I provided evidence in the case, so I went and testified at her trial. She was 14 by the time she was tried for the murders. She looked closer to 17. She just sat there, looking disinterested. By the time I testified, the trial had been going on for three weeks already. She probably knew that she would be found guilty, and was bored of sitting in the prisoners box all day, five days a week. Nov 9 she was sentenced to four and a half years in the mental institute in Edmonton, and then another four years in a halfway house. She will be my age before she is released back into the world. She is going to have a very hard life. If she had done this when she was still 11, they could not have touched her. Her boyfriend will probably get three life sentences for the three lives he ended. Really, five lives were lost that fateful day in May 2006.


I’ve never been a happy person, this is no secret. I’ve never been really suicidal, but I can’t say that I’ve never seriously thought about it. Recently, I had the opportunity to shoot a gun. I managed to harass and cajole my way into watching the officers in my unit do their recertification, and then they handed me the gun. Ok, so they gave me tips, and one of the officers administering the testing explained how to do everything while the other guys were doing their test. I know how to hold a handgun, and how to aim it properly, and how to pull the trigger so the bullet goes where I want it to go. Anyway, so, after an hour and a half of watching the boys shooting, and asking questions and getting well explained answers, I am told that I can go into the range area. I put on goggles and ear protection. Mike shows me how to hold the gun properly, and then hands it over. The gun is loaded with live ammunition (9mm Luger bullets). It’s a 9mm Smith and Weston standard issue RCMP service pistol, complete with the RCMP logo stamped in the side. It was weird, after all these years, having a real gun, in my hand, loaded, with 5 real bullets. It was a detached feeling. Anyway, I got over my feeling, and aimed carefully. And slowly, very very slowly, pulled the trigger. I felt a rush of air hit my goggles, and my hands snapped back a little, and there was a little hole in my target. This hole was pretty much exactly where the guys heart was. If my target had been a guy quietly standing there, waiting to be shot, I would have killed him in the one shot. I got 4 shots in the small center target, two in the arm, and the rest kind of clustered around the heart area. After all 15 shots, my arms were tired. My muscles even hurt for a few days afterwards.